Pain in the Mort
by YouLittleRat
Summary: What is this pain? I have never heard of it. Neither has Mort.


"Mort hurry up! I want to get a look at the new kingly-style toys by sun-up okay?!" King Julien stomps his foot. He and Maurice stand impatiently outside of the zooveier shop, waiting to get inside and see this year's merchandise. Alice has gotten a new lock (due to frequent break-ins from the penguins no doubt) and the lemurs are trying in their unique way to hack it. "Mort? Are you even in there?" calls Julien into the open keypad, despite having just ripped open the casing and shoved Mort in not ten minutes earlier. Mort pops his head out and startles the tall lemur.

"I feel sparkly!" gushes Mort proudly. Dozens of live wires have wrapped themselves around his body, sending currents of electricity through him which spark out his ears. He certainly looks sparkly.

"Alright Mort! Start pulling and plugging, pulling and plugging!" Mort tugs on the wires and shoves them into different sockets. He grabs a bundle and forces them together. The keypad starts making a sound that gets louder and louder, like something's ramping up.

"Uh, I don't think it's supposed to do that," says Maurice nervously. He and Julien back away as Mort feverously jams things into the inside of the keypad. Everything becomes hotter and the excess sparks get more violent until finally, _BANG! _ The keypad explodes and Mort's sent rocketing over the zoo in a puff of smoke. The store's alarm goes of.

"Ah! The people's warning-beeping sound! Run away!" cries King Julien. The two retreat back to the lemur habitat. Meanwhile, Mort peels himself off the brick wall he's crashed into.

"Ow," he says hoarsely, then furrows his brow in a puzzled fashion. "Ow?"

* * *

Mort returns to the habitat. Maurice is the first to see him.

"You better watch your step Mort, King Julien's pretty ticked off you set off the alarm."

"Mort!" Julien jumps down from the rock and joins them both, "You have failed me! Prepare for a good thrashing!"

"Ow," says Mort.

"Ow? Wow I'm good, I haven't even started yet."

"Mort? Are you hurt?" asks Maurice.

"Uh-huh. Here and there and there and _EVERYWHEREHAREHARE!_"

"What is he saying?" interjects Julien, "No, wait, wait. Do you know what that bossy penguin would be saying right now? He would be saying 'smart-headed penguin, analysisis."

"You want me to be Kowalski?" Maurice asks.

"Yes please."

"Alright, alright. –ahem- It appears that the blast of electricity must have re-wired his brain so that instead of being immune to pain he is hyper-uh-sensitive. How was that?"

"Very good Maurice! It sent shivers down my spine. How was my flat-headed penguin? Not too shabby no?"

"Not too bad, not too bad." They're interrupted by Mort loudly sighing. "Oh right, Mort. What are we going to do about him?"

"Eh, I'm sure it'll clear up on it's own." Julien nudges Mort out of his way and carries on elsewhere. Mort falls backwards onto his bottom.

"Owie," says Mort, rubbing his butt.

* * *

"Mort get that dropped popcorn." Mort rushes out of the habitat, but as soon as his feet touch the pavement, he squeals and runs back.

"It's too hot, the sun made it too hot!"

"Mort, you were in the shade," says Maurice.

"It's too cold!"

* * *

"Mort, open that jar of peaches." Mort grasps the jar. He wines and wheezes, trying to open it. Taking a break to rub the owies on his wrist Maurice picks up the jar and unscrews the lid with one finger. Mort smiles sheepishly and hands the jar to Julien.

* * *

"Mort, blow up the bouncy castle."

"Owie, it hurts my lips too much."

"Mort," says Maurice, "You haven't even started yet."

* * *

King Julien paces back and forth in front of a tree. In the ground at the base of the tree there's a hole and in the hole there's Mort, hugging his knees to his chest.

"For the last time Mort, get out here and scratch my booty. It's itching like crazy!"

"No. The world hurts too much. I'm never going outside again."

"What's going on?" asks Maurice, happening across the scene.

"Uhg! Mort has been such a pansy ever since he got shocked by the electracles!"

Barely listening to Julien, Maurice leans down and peers into the hole. "Aw, come on Mort, it's not so bad out here."

"No! It's mean and it's hurty and I don't like it!"

"Oh for crying out loudness!" groans Julien, waving his arms exasperatedly. "It was just a- ow! I smacked myself in the face, how did I do that?"

"See?! Hurty!"

"It's kind of funny, I mean, how do you do that? Ow! Ow! Ow! I'm doing it again. Look at me! I can't stop hitting myself," Julien laughs.

"Pain is… funny?" Mort peeks out quizingly.

"Uh, yeah," says Maurice. He hits himself too. "Ow! See? It's funny."

Mort smacks himself in the face. "Ow! Pain is funny. Hee-hee. Pain is funny!" He leaps out of his hole. "Hooray! Pain is funny!" cries Mort and runs off.

"Hey, I think we cured him."

"Whatever, can you scratch my booty? It's still itchy."

"Hey look at me!" Maurice and Julien look up to see Mort holding a rock twice his size over his head. "Pain is funny." He drops the rock and it crushes him into the ground.

"Ooooo. Too far Mort, too far," winces Maurice.

The end.


End file.
